Social Life
In a serious attempt to change my life, even though I don’t feel it’s a good idea, I've decided to ignore every overly-rational thought that comes to my head and tries to prevent me from making a change about my life in relation to the weekly focus of the post.
This week theme is social life.
If I want to get “better”, I have to start from the most notorious flaw in my life: Social Life.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have *some* friends (and enemies), but none of them affects my everyday life.
According to my theory, this lack of "dependence" has turned me into the egocentric, insensitive gorgeous man that I am. I say it’s all crap.
Liquid Life
Social Life
Meh.
First word coming out of my mouth every morning.
If I really want to make a difference in my social life, I’ll have to get organized first.
When it comes to socializing, making new and shallow friendships it's actually pretty easy. No science, no difficulties. If you are nice, you’ll be treated like a nice person. If you are an ass, you’ll get assholes. Quite straightforward.
Welcome to this wonderful methodic wonderfulness method for social life.
Step 1: Environment.
If you want to socialize, know your place, literally. I’m not going out to hit night clubs if I don't even know the janitor in it.
I spend 30% of my thrilling day at college, and the rest of my extreme day at home. Logically, I can’t build a social life at home, but I can do it at college.
The easiest way (I’ll take it!) Is to try at college, specifically with your classmates. I've never been a douche near them. However, I've never been friendly with them... My only friends, you know, the kind of going out and catch up ones, come from all the way back when I was on high school. So, practically nobody here knows me at all beside what I've let them know. It’s going to be like starting from a scratch…
That mystical day, when I got in the classroom, I'm faced with a familiar frame: The teacher hasn’t arrived; there are bags and backpacks all over the seats for saving-my-spot purposes. An empty classroom and the whole class are waiting outside for the teacher, “socializing”. Here it is. My first test.
Step 2: Action.
The most important step. To do something. It sound a little obvious, but really, it is a hard step. Determination is the key.
The action I've chosen is quite simple. I’ll pick a seat on this classroom, normally, but one that allows me to “socialize”. You should sit alone way in the back of the classroom. I already said it; I’m not going to listen to you, witty bastard, so I'll do the opposite. Begone, reasoning. I’ll be back.
So I put my bag next to an occupied seat. I don’t even know whose seat is this. All I know is that this is the first step in my journey of dangers and perils.
When the teacher arrives, naturally, everybody sits on their... seats. I was lucky that my mysterious classmate was Ricardo. He’s the typical “Cool nice guy”. Everybody loves him and he seems to befriend everyone. If someone is going to put me back on the map, he’s the one.
– Hey. - I kindly say.
– ¡Hey man! - He answers.
Step 3: Reaction.
After completing the action, all we need to do is waiting for a reaction.
Sound like a chemical experiment, but it isn't… I guess.
Anyway, I did what I had to do (and saw it through, without exception) and now we just need to wait and see if it works.
So the classes are almost over, and no major news. Well, I’m not much of a talker anyway.
– And how have you been? - Ricardo asks. The teacher is speaking unrelated thing, so nobody pays attention.
– Good, good. You? - I answer back, not exactly in a creative way.
– Same here. You aren’t from around here, right? - I guess he is talking about the city.
– Actually, I am. Why?
– It’s nothing. It’s just that I haven't seen you outside the campus.
– Oh. Well, I don’t go out very often.
– Why not?
– Well... – Good question – I’m not much of a… going–outer. – New word, everybody.
– I see.
With that said, the class ended. We stand up and went out of the classroom.
Like I expected, the whole class was once again together waiting for out next teacher.
I’m not sure if this action was successful at all. To be honest, I don’t even know how to tell that it was successful. Starting to miss me over there?
Step 4: Checking.
I wanted to use something that sounded like "Action” or “Reaction”. Like “Chektion” or “Verification”. Wait… Oh well…
Here is where I should do the same action or a similar one in a much more effective environment, in order to test if it was a successful action. Stop over explaining!
– ¡Hey! - I greet the first female classmate that made eye contact with me. I admit it; I tried to imitate the friendly Ricardo’s tone.
– ¡Hello there! - She greeted back at me, with a big smile. Success?
I know, I know. I’m acting like if I were the damn Grinch, knowing nothing about relationships. But it’s just that I’m a really insecure guy when it comes to this kind of situations, in where my success rate is not directly determined by my efforts, but rather the other person’s feelings. Stop crying.
– Do you know anything about our test next week? - She asks.
– I've read a few handouts. – I answered shortly, starting a short silence. Speaking of an interesting guy… That’s why I could never been a comedian. That, and because I'm intelligent. (My apologies to every comedian reading this. Don’t joke about me please.)
– Well, I can't understand any of those handouts...
– They aren’t that difficult.
– I know, but I just can't understand them!
– Maybe you are reading them backwards.
She laughed. I was trying to insult her I'm a funny guy.
– For example – She pulled out a handout – Look at this part here. A total mess!
I kind of understand her, those damn “annotations” made by our brilliant teacher are even more misleading that the actual text.
– Well, those annotations… - I tried to explain – You just have to… - I got mixed up - It's... I can’t explain it right now, time is too short.
– Oh… - She made a little pause – Then can we look at them tomorrow morning?
– Well I--... What?
– You were right; we have no time left right now.
– … I’m… Err… - Just when I was trying to find and excuse, the teacher gets to the classroom.
– Teacher’s here. We are looking at the handouts tomorrow then. Thank you so much! I was in a real trouble here!
– You’re… Welcome…
Meh.
Well, doing favors is part of friendship… But teaching someone? My head explodes when I’m trying to explain myself! I can’t teach!
And that’s how the first day of the week ended. But wait, there’s more!
--Advertisement--
Back to your normal post…
----------------
If you're wondering why the hell this post is so long, well, get used to it! (Please?), these posts are a weekly recompilation of important event, and a lot happens in a week, A LOT, so get over with it! (Thank you very much, I love you)
Anyway, the next day is on, and the only interesting thing that happens is that stupid study date with the not-so-hot classmate, who I don't even know what her name is... I'm not very good remembering names...
So let’s just call her “not-so-hot girl” (I love blogs).
After pouring my brain cells on her, and realizing that god didn’t made us all equally bright, we still had some time left to “socialize”, so I ran as fast as I could into the woods I stayed for a little chat.
– Why did you asked me to teach you? - I ask. I rock at asking.
– Everyone else said that they didn’t have anytime. – She answered.
– I see.
– To be honest, I never thought you would say yes. - I never said yes - I really appreciate it.
– Not a problem – What else could I say?
– So, are you going next Friday?
– Huh?
– To Steffany's party. – Who? - We are planning a surprise party for her. Haven’t you heard?
– Err… I… - Me in a birthday? Is like asking the devil to give a motivational speech. Quick, make something up! I don't want to go!!
In the meanwhile, a friend of not-so-hot girl (I forgot to ask for her name) got in the scene, and distracted not-so-hot girl for a while. Enough time for me to escape… Broking a window with my body.
If I’m lucky, she’s going to forget about inviting me, and I won’t have any glass cut.
----------------
The wacky week was about to end. Ironically, it all started with a simple "hey". When I was heading out the classroom, a classmate calls me.
– Hey, Andrew! - I heard him. I look in his direction, and there he was, surrounded with other classmates. I went over there, naturally.
– What’s up? - I asked, a little curious.
– Well, Susan – Susan! That was the not-so-hot girl name! - told me that you didn’t know about Steffany’s party. - Ok, Who the hell is Steffany?
– Well, that’s because I don't give a damn. She said something about it. It sounds like fun.
– So, are you in? We need to set up the surprise, so I need to know who’s going for sure.
– Well… - After all I've done, it feels like I should say yes... But I don’t want to go at all (I never want)…
– So? - He insisted.
– No no no no no no no I’m in.
And so, this miraculous tonic starts to shows one of its side effects.
Side effect: Extreme Awkwardness.
Me in a party full of strangers? Actually, me in a party?
----------------
Wrapping up:
Social life is not difficult. To those readers with problems in it, just relax. Human being is a social being. There’s always a link that connects us somehow to society.
Just check your environment, think of an action, and enjoy the reactions. Easy and scientific. And we all know science is all about fun.
I hope you had a good time reading this, because I had a great time! (Sarcasm)
Now, if you excuse me, I’m throwing myself to a river I’ll go and thing about my next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment