Savings

In a serious attempt to change my life, even though I don’t feel it’s a good idea, I've decided to ignore every overly-rational thought that comes to my head and tries to prevent me from making a change about my life in relation to the weekly focus of the post.


Welcome again! It’s a new week, and a new topic: Savings.


Last week's highlight was the weird invitation i got for Steffany's party. However, I'm not writing about it this week, since it's going to be next week's topic.
Back to your normal post…

Liquid Life

Savings.

Money. Dirty money.
Since my social life is below zero, I have a lot of free time. Therefore, summer vacations (winter vacations for you… or whatever long vacations happens in your area) means two month of watching paint dry for me. So I use them to work my ass off.
I have no specialty area, so I've work on a lot of different jobs. Auto tech, journalist, private teacher, warehouse man, stock boy, fruit seller, receptionist, wheat harvester and car parker (if that’s the correct translation). Oddly, I've only been hired under a contract when I worked as a wheat harvester…
Most of the time, I’m a good worker. Again, my social life is nonexistent. Because of that, I’m fully available to work on overtime, weekends and holidays, which means a lot of extra money. Unfortunately, I'm kind of lazy. I tend to rush things, only to take a break whenever I can.


Anyway, most of that hard-earned money went directly to a saving account, and never took a penny out of it.


Uh-oh! It's time for…!
You lay a finger on that money; I’ll kill you in your sleep. Not listening to my reasoning!


So, for this week I intend to spend my money. I’ll write a list with those things I wanted to buy but i didn't because I am a cheap man. Then, I’ll go and buy them. Period.
Let’s start.
Since I can’t think of anything, I’ll just list some aspects of my life, and I will buy something related to it. Let’s go.
1. Nothing, I’m good. Fun: I’m quite a lazy person. Very lazy person. I have a blog to prove it.
2. And that’s it. The look: I haven’t changed the way I look since… A lot of time. I guess it’s time…
3. Stop it! Creativity: The perfect excuse to be lazy (with all due respect, artists). I'm thinking on a painting easel, or a music instrument or something...
4. My beloved money! You monster! And finally, Society: Again with the social issue… But, seriously, I should invite someone to something. It’s my civilian duty.


There. All set.
Since I’ll never change, I’m sure I’ll try to look for bargains. I mean, I want to change, but there’s no need to kill my common sense.


––––


Fun:
First day of the week. Today's duty is to find something that its only purpose is to entertain me.
I woke up early and headed downtown for some window-shopping.
Whenever I window-shop, I don’t even spend more than five seconds on this. I’m not an spontaneous man. I always know exactly what I'm buying, so I just go in, ask and go away.
And so I did. I entered an electronic shop with some ideas about what could I buy. I had three items in mind: a DVD, a music player or a mini TV to place next to my computer. World cup championships are about to start, anyway…
– ¡Hello there! - A young woman behind the counter greets me… Oh…
– H-Hey – I answered, a little nervous. Why does a hot girl has to serve me in such a geek store?
– What can I do for you? - She asks with a nice smile.


I hesitated for a while, staring at a blank spot... Actually, I was really nervous, and I was trying to restrain myself from saying something stupid... I wasn't prepared for a chat with a hot girl... That's how methodic I am.
But, Andy, Haven't you decided to stop over thinking every step you make and try to be more spontaneous? Son of a…


Fine, fine.
– Err… I’m looking for something… To entertain myself… - Damn! What am I saying? I sounded like i was in a sex shop...
– Ok… But, what exactly? - She asks me back. C’mon, I’m not a shy guy, Why can’t I think of something smart?
– Yes, I’m sorry – DO NOT APOLOGIZE – I mean… A DVD… A player…
– A DVD player?
– Yes, yes. Exactly.
– Well, we have…


I’m embarrassing myself… Since when I’m such a shy person? Am I that out of shape? I feel like I’m blushing… I better not think of that, or I’ll blush for sure… I feel like a little girl… Impossible! You are, oh, so manly!
– So, which one do you like? - She looks me in the eyes.
– What? - What do I missed? - Well... That one?
– The one with digital zoom? - Just say yes and get the hell out of there, will you?
– Yes. That one.
She smiled and put everything back in its place.
I was relieved to finally being able to get the hell out of that situation… I didn’t even ask for other things; neither had I checked their prices…


Even worse, I forgot my change, and she told me so when I was opening the front door…


I guess this is a lesson. If I want to be a more spontaneous man, I can’t just say whatever comes to my head…
Reasoning 1 – Andy 0 shut the hell up…


–––––


Look:
Next day. Today, I’m changing my look. Woke up early again. It's the best way to be sure that every shop will be open.
The basic change of look is getting a haircut. However, I have no idea where to go...
So I decided leave it for my reasoning, and so I started thinking… Downtown is an expensive area for a business. So a hairdresser's located downtown has to be good to stay on business.
Let’s hit downtown.
Like my grandpa said, “never save money on food, and never save money on a haircut", or something like that. For that reason, no cheap male haircuts. Expensive (or reasonable) only!
Now, I’m a reserved man. Last thing I want is to be in that vulnerable position under a scissor and see a familiar face walking by the front window waving at me, so I’m going to go look for a discretely placed hairdresser’s. I entered a shopping mall, and went looking on higher floors. I found one and entered.


I was served by a man of dubious manhood. Before I knew it, the best freaking haircut I've ever had was done. Really, I love my hair now... In a manly way.


Next step, new clothes. I mean, I have only one pair of shoes. One. And all my clothes are of the same color… Anyone would think that I never change clothes...
So I bought some blue shirts and a pair of snickers. There, all set.


Changing your look is more than a physical change, it’s a spiritual lift. The change that buying new clothes or getting a haircut make in you (besides that you have your hair cut and new clothes) is giving you that extra confidence that everyone needs once in a while. Many times, it’s all you needed.


–––––


Creativity:
Another day. Now I didn’t wake up that early.
With the cool change of looks I went through, I was way more relaxed, so I walked to the town square to chill out a bit. I bought a pack of cigarettes (one of the reasons why I don't like to have money on) and I sat on a park bench, watching people walking by while smoking.


Have you ever felt that way? Feeling strange… Like if you are not part of this timeline. Crowds of people with plenty of things to do, plenty of them, minding their own business… And I’m here, sitting all alone thinking nothing. Worrying about nothing. I don’t know. Am I less or am I more? To feel like a witness, like just an observer. A simple stalker that only looks but never takes part…


Let’s focus, now. When I was done philosophically resting, I realized what I should buy to add even more creativity into my life: A musical instrument.


I walked into a music store. The first one I found.
– Morning. - I greet walking in. A young man gets up his chair with a kind smile.
– Hey.
– Err… - I hesitated… What the hell was I thinking walking into a music store without thinking what instrument to buy?
– What do you need?
– I need… - Ok, let’s avoid stupidity. I’ll just be honest - The truth is, I have no idea what to buy. I just want a music instrument to learn, but I have no idea which.
– Any instrument?
– Any. Can you recommend something?
– Well… - He seemed kind of uncomfortable. I understand, I asked him a weird question. I doubt he wants to impose me his personal tastes - Guitar is pretty popular and common.
– Guitar… - I look to the guitar rack... I don't know... They don't look so interesting... They look cool, but kind of boring…
– You like sting instruments? Maybe wind? Percussion?


Since I’m a big fan of Jazz, I had to try…
– Wind.
– Well, wind instruments are generally expensive… - He pointed at a corner of the store, a well organized and shiny section full of wind instruments.


While I was looking through a window shelf, I noticed a tiny instrument that reminded me about all that great cowboy movies. A harmonica. It was kind of big, considering it was a Harmonica.
– How much is that harmonica?
– It’s a Chromatic Harmonica. 113 dollars. (Price courtesy of Currency Converter)
– 113? - Is it made out of diamonds? - You have a more… Economical one?
– Well, there is Diatonic. - He showed me a tiny one. Now this is what I remember from those cliché prisoners in jail from the movies.
– I’ll take it.


Economic and full of pop culture. I love this tiny thing.
I took it home with a big smile. It sounded like a cat hit by a car. (Sounds like a song title)


Anyway, I’m very happy. I saw some videos online, and listened to some experts, and yes, it can be very harmonious. I guess I just need lots of practice.


–––––


Society:
And we are near the weekend. Thursday.


When I was heading out of the classroom that morning, a classmate stops me. He let me know that they are going to meet soon to coordinate the entire surprise party thing.
Naturally, I was there.
– So, I spoke to Steffany’s mother. – Steffany? The birthday girl, genius. Oh, Steffany! - We need to be there at ten o'clock.
– So what do we do with all the party stuff? Do we need to bring something specific? - Another classmate asks.
– That’s what we are going to discuss. We have the food. We just need the booze. - Ah! College parties… So simple…
– We and the girls are going to bring beer - Bah! Here we go... Drinking chat... I don't like to talk about booze, I can't help it but to understand it as a lame excuse to say "look at me, I'm a grown up!" You’re such a loving mother…
– And what about the stronger drinks? - Another classmate asks. I’m getting bored…
– I’ll bring some with Alex. I don’t know if we need any more. - Somebody answers.


From here, the discussion was about "the non-drunk reasons to buy a lot of booze". Damn, I hate parties... Are you done yet? I want to go play harmonica.
– Ok. – I said with a low voice. They look at me funny. This was the first time I’ve spoken in this meeting. Actually, I sounded a little angry… - I’ll buy some strong booze.
– With who? - One of the head organizers asked.
– Alone. Before I regret it. - I said angry as a joke.
– But just get together with someone… - He look at the rest of the group – Who else is sharing the expenses?
– I’ll do it! - Susan spoke from the other side of the group.
– There we go, then. Andrew, do you know how to get to Steffany’s? - Who? The birthday girl, genius. Oh, Steffany!
– No.
– I know.
– All set them, you get him there.


Susan approaches me and said hi. She hadn’t greeted me, that why she greeted me now. Really? (Sarcasm)
She told me that she got a great grad on her test, the one I helped her to study. I guess that’s why she’s so kind now. We agree to get together before we went to the party, and that was it.


I said goodbye, and got out of there, returning home.


–––––




The end?


No.


To sum up:
Savings. They are vital. You don't need to be a genius to understand the usefulness of having some bucks laying around in some saving account. They can make the difference between life and death. :O Now, from recognizing that they’re useful, to actually having them, is another story.
But, as a humble recommendation, just try to have some money hidden in a saving account. Find out what are the interest rates of different banks, and investigate how much will you pay for having the saving account. From what I know, most saving accounts let you withdraw money a number of times a year, before charging you for account maintenance.


Today is the party. I’m really nervous at home. I don’t know what to do… I feel like I'm going to make a fool of myself.
What should I do?


Just leave it to me, mortal. I have a plan.
See you next week! Do you have to cross out everything I say? Yes.


















So, participation time. I still have some money left to spend on anything. Any recommendation? Moderately expensive, I just want to see what comes out from my thousands of fans (I owe you a sarcasm).

Social Life

In a serious attempt to change my life, even though I don’t feel it’s a good idea, I've decided to ignore every overly-rational thought that comes to my head and tries to prevent me from making a change about my life in relation to the weekly focus of the post.

This week theme is social life.

If I want to get “better”, I have to start from the most notorious flaw in my life: Social Life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have *some* friends (and enemies), but none of them affects my everyday life.

According to my theory, this lack of "dependence" has turned me into the egocentric, insensitive gorgeous man that I am. I say it’s all crap.

Liquid Life

Social Life

Meh.

First word coming out of my mouth every morning.

If I really want to make a difference in my social life, I’ll have to get organized first.

When it comes to socializing, making new and shallow friendships it's actually pretty easy. No science, no difficulties. If you are nice, you’ll be treated like a nice person. If you are an ass, you’ll get assholes. Quite straightforward.

Welcome to this wonderful methodic wonderfulness method for social life.

Step 1: Environment.

If you want to socialize, know your place, literally. I’m not going out to hit night clubs if I don't even know the janitor in it.

I spend 30% of my thrilling day at college, and the rest of my extreme day at home. Logically, I can’t build a social life at home, but I can do it at college.

The easiest way (I’ll take it!) Is to try at college, specifically with your classmates. I've never been a douche near them. However, I've never been friendly with them... My only friends, you know, the kind of going out and catch up ones, come from all the way back when I was on high school. So, practically nobody here knows me at all beside what I've let them know. It’s going to be like starting from a scratch…

That mystical day, when I got in the classroom, I'm faced with a familiar frame: The teacher hasn’t arrived; there are bags and backpacks all over the seats for saving-my-spot purposes. An empty classroom and the whole class are waiting outside for the teacher, “socializing”. Here it is. My first test.

Step 2: Action.

The most important step. To do something. It sound a little obvious, but really, it is a hard step. Determination is the key.

The action I've chosen is quite simple. I’ll pick a seat on this classroom, normally, but one that allows me to “socialize”. You should sit alone way in the back of the classroom. I already said it; I’m not going to listen to you, witty bastard, so I'll do the opposite. Begone, reasoning.  I’ll be back.

So I put my bag next to an occupied seat. I don’t even know whose seat is this. All I know is that this is the first step in my journey of dangers and perils.

When the teacher arrives, naturally, everybody sits on their... seats. I was lucky that my mysterious classmate was Ricardo. He’s the typical “Cool nice guy”. Everybody loves him and he seems to befriend everyone. If someone is going to put me back on the map, he’s the one.

–        Hey. - I kindly say.

–        ¡Hey man! - He answers.

Step 3: Reaction.

After completing the action, all we need to do is waiting for a reaction.

Sound like a chemical experiment, but it isn't… I guess.

Anyway, I did what I had to do (and saw it through, without exception) and now we just need to wait and see if it works.

So the classes are almost over, and no major news. Well, I’m not much of a talker anyway.

–        And how have you been? - Ricardo asks. The teacher is speaking unrelated thing, so nobody pays attention.

–        Good, good. You? - I answer back, not exactly in a creative way.

–        Same here. You aren’t from around here, right? - I guess he is talking about the city.

–        Actually, I am. Why?  

–        It’s nothing. It’s just that I haven't seen you outside the campus.

–        Oh. Well, I don’t go out very often.

–        Why not?

–        Well... – Good question – I’m not much of a… going–outer. – New word, everybody.

–        I see.

With that said, the class ended. We stand up and went out of the classroom.

Like I expected, the whole class was once again together waiting for out next teacher.

I’m not sure if this action was successful at all. To be honest, I don’t even know how to tell that it was successful. Starting to miss me over there?

Step 4: Checking.

I wanted to use something that sounded like "Action” or “Reaction”. Like “Chektion” or “Verification”. Wait…  Oh well…

Here is where I should do the same action or a similar one in a much more effective environment, in order to test if it was a successful action. Stop over explaining!

–        ¡Hey! - I greet the first female classmate that made eye contact with me. I admit it; I tried to imitate the friendly Ricardo’s tone.

–        ¡Hello there! - She greeted back at me, with a big smile. Success?

I know, I know. I’m acting like if I were the damn Grinch, knowing nothing about relationships. But it’s just that I’m a really insecure guy when it comes to this kind of situations, in where my success rate is not directly determined by my efforts, but rather the other person’s feelings. Stop crying.

–        Do you know anything about our test next week? - She asks.

–        I've read a few handouts. – I answered shortly, starting a short silence. Speaking of an interesting guy… That’s why I could never been a comedian. That, and because I'm intelligent. (My apologies to every comedian reading this. Don’t joke about me please.)

–        Well, I can't understand any of those handouts...

–        They aren’t that difficult.

–        I know, but I just can't understand them!

–        Maybe you are reading them backwards.

She laughed. I was trying to insult her I'm a funny guy.

–        For example – She pulled out a handout – Look at this part here. A total mess!

I kind of understand her, those damn “annotations” made by our brilliant teacher are even more misleading that the actual text.

–        Well, those annotations… - I tried to explain – You just have to… - I got mixed up - It's... I can’t explain it right now, time is too short.

–        Oh… - She made a little pause – Then can we look at them tomorrow morning?

–        Well I--... What?

–        You were right; we have no time left right now.

–        … I’m… Err… - Just when I was trying to find and excuse, the teacher gets to the classroom.

–        Teacher’s here. We are looking at the handouts tomorrow then. Thank you so much! I was in a real trouble here!

–        You’re… Welcome…

Meh.

Well, doing favors is part of friendship… But teaching someone? My head explodes when I’m trying to explain myself! I can’t teach!

And that’s how the first day of the week ended. But wait, there’s more!

--Advertisement--

Back to your normal post…

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If you're wondering why the hell this post is so long, well, get used to it! (Please?), these posts are a weekly recompilation of important event, and a lot happens in a week, A LOT, so get over with it!  (Thank you very much, I love you)

Anyway, the next day is on, and the only interesting thing that happens is that stupid study date with the not-so-hot classmate, who I don't even know what her name is... I'm not very good remembering names...

So let’s just call her “not-so-hot girl” (I love blogs).

After pouring my brain cells on her, and realizing that god didn’t made us all equally bright, we still had some time left to “socialize”, so I ran as fast as I could into the woods I stayed for a little chat.

–        Why did you asked me to teach you? - I ask. I rock at asking.

–        Everyone else said that they didn’t have anytime. – She answered.

–        I see.

–        To be honest, I never thought you would say yes. - I never said yes - I really appreciate it.

–        Not a problem – What else could I say?

–        So, are you going next Friday?

–        Huh?

–        To Steffany's party. – Who? - We are planning a surprise party for her. Haven’t you heard?

–        Err… I… - Me in a birthday? Is like asking the devil to give a motivational speech. Quick, make something up! I don't want to go!!

In the meanwhile, a friend of not-so-hot girl (I forgot to ask for her name) got in the scene, and distracted not-so-hot girl for a while. Enough time for me to escape… Broking a window with my body.

If I’m lucky, she’s going to forget about inviting me, and I won’t have any glass cut.

----------------

The wacky week was about to end. Ironically, it all started with a simple "hey". When I was heading out the classroom, a classmate calls me.

–       Hey, Andrew! - I heard him. I look in his direction, and there he was, surrounded with other classmates. I went over there, naturally.

–        What’s up? - I asked, a little curious.

–        Well, Susan – Susan! That was the not-so-hot girl name! - told me that you didn’t know about Steffany’s party. - Ok, Who the hell is Steffany?

–        Well, that’s because I don't give a damn. She said something about it. It sounds like fun.

–        So, are you in? We need to set up the surprise, so I need to know who’s going for sure.

–        Well… - After all I've done, it feels like I should say yes... But I don’t want to go at all (I never want)…

–        So? - He insisted.

–        No no no no no no no I’m in.

And so, this miraculous tonic starts to shows one of its side effects.

Side effect: Extreme Awkwardness.

Me in a party full of strangers? Actually, me in a party?

You see? You see!? I knew something bad would happen! I'm out of here! I quit!

----------------

Wrapping up:

Social life is not difficult. To those readers with problems in it, just relax. Human being is a social being. There’s always a link that connects us somehow to society.

Just check your environment, think of an action, and enjoy the reactions. Easy and scientific. And we all know science is all about fun.

I hope you had a good time reading this, because I had a great time! (Sarcasm)

Now, if you excuse me, I’m throwing myself to a river I’ll go and thing about my next week.

Reasoning for hire! Oh, no, you’re staying!

Prologue: Liquid Life

“Tal vez porque de estar tanto solo, me voy insensibilizando..."  

(“Maybe it's because I’ve been alone for too much time that I’m losing my emotions...”)

That’s a quote from one of my older posts, supposed to be the prequel of this one. I abandoned that blog along with 90% of my hobbies because I almost failed a year on college. Almost.


And I mention that particular sentence because that is the exact statement that gives this blog a meaning.
That sentence turned out to be very true. After a major failure in the only attempt to escape from solitude in years (the girl I was trying to get got a new boyfriend… And it’s not me. I blew my chance), my brain found a good excuse to stop trying at all, and do what I do best: Nothing.


My life has always been a mess, and back then I faced a period that just exceeds my reasoning. Not too long ago, I purposely lost contact with the only good friend I had. I'm in my last year of college and I'm considering getting a place of my own (which means, at my age, a small room with a broken heater). And I'm just tired of this. I never thought that the bad moment I was living, alone and worryingly quiet, will transform into the rest of my life. 
That’s why I searched for a solution…


It was then when I discovered the wonders of this tonic called “Liquid Life”.


Made out of bread and water, this little syrup has proved that it's the best cure for... something.


I still don’t know. It hasn’t worked yet…
That's when my blog comes to play. Here I'm we're going to write down all the effects of this mysterious tonic for research purposes, and we'll see if it works at all...


Liquid Life tonic is a metaphoric idea that means that I'm trying to take life down in one go without even hesitating.
It’s my not-so-elegant attempt to get back the life that I abandoned. After a lot of time reflecting, I realized that my obsession of over thinking things has brought me all my despairs, and I've decided to battle against myself in order to make some, if any, change. What could I lose?


Also, as a way to enhance my writing skills and gain invaluable experience in what I study (all lies, I'm just bored), I'm publishing every post simultaneously in English and Spanish. I hate automatic translators, so, of course, I'll translate every post manually.


And that’s how I'm picking up all my hobbies once again, now that I've fixed my academic situation, and who'd have known? I remembered this little blog, my favorite in its era, and brought it back. Naturally, I’m going to try and enjoy at its full, so you can expect this running for many years to come.


That’s it.
To the right of this page, there are several gadgets, each one more useless than the last, but one of them show the percentage of time until I publish the next post.


So join me, fellow, in this mighty adventure while I travel trough the boundless oceans of urban waterless concrete.
I have a bad feeling about this...




If you are interested on reading my older posts (only available in spanish) you can always visit the Spanish version of this blog (link at the top of this column) and click on the "Clásicos 'Manual de vida'" tag, to the right of the page.


I want to thank my good'ol cyber-pal Confuzion, who was, once again, eager to help me rebuild the blog layout. You rock man, Tu piedra hombre! (Joke translation, do not use that in a Spanish conversation)


Take care! Thanks for your visit!